I had just completed my Advance Open Water Dive in Tioman-Genting.
I was extremely upset and depressed after coming back from the AOWD, due to many incidents that had happened.
Firstly, I was lost from my group while I am doing my navigation module.
We are required to do a square navigation underwater, as there was only 1 instructor and 3 students, thus we need to do our navigation alone.
When I completed my square navigation, I realised that I couldn’t see my instructor or friends. Upon checking on my SPG gauge, I realised that I am 21 meters deep.
Thus, I realise that I have swum very far away from the group and unable to swim back to them. While trying to calm myself, I am getting more terrified by the underwater, with all the unfamiliar sea creatures swimming around me. Thus I decided to ascend to the surface to look for any diver’s bubbles. While I was ascending to 5 meters, I did my safety stop for about 1 minute. While launching my diver’s sausage, I am starting to panic thus I decided to abort my safety stop to ascend up to the surface.
I became more terrified floating on the surface as I couldn’t see my dive boat. I held on tightly to my sausage keeping it upright, hoping that any boat could identify me and save me. As the surf was quite strong, I started to look around for something to hold on in order not to drift too far from where I have ascended. I saw a buoy and quickly swum toward it to grab it.
I waited for nearly more than 15 minutes. The loneliness is miserable, not knowing what will happen to me, I saw a boat drift passed. Then, did I realise that it was my own dive boat, and I felt a moment of relief. I nearly cried out but I hold my tear as I didn’t want anyone to see me crying. The other group on the dive boat as me how my dive I just say it fine. Not long after I climbed up the boat, I saw a diver’s sausage surface up and I saw my group. My friend – Eveline gave me a hug and that when I started to break down.
This was my most ultimate unforgettable experience.
Bad things always come one after another, thus my second incident happened on the second day. During the dive, our instructor and Eveline are paired up to buddy each other, whereas Tracy and me was paired up together. However, our instructor decided to change buddy but, this buddy change was only “verbal” changed.
It was because, not long after we descent underwater, Eveline swum back to her buddy which was our instructor and I was being left alone. Realising that Tracy’s buddy whom was our instructor was enjoying the accompanied of his old buddy thus I wrote on the slate to Tracy that we buddy back underwater.
That was when I felt very sad. If they enjoying each other company so much, why bother to change in the first place. That was why I said it was a verbal changed.
While on my way home with my instructor, as we stayed in the east going the same way back, trying to clarify certain things with him regarding my navigation, I was being flooded with words of comparison and mocking. He kept comparing me and Eveline telling me how well Eveline had done and why she can do it and I can’t. Never did I have expected that it with such an unhappy conversations, whereby I don’t even bother to defence for myself.
You mentioned that you are being fair to everyone. But I don’t think so. I felt that you shown more concern toward your buddy.
You have higher expectation for me than others. It is all your own perceptions. I am no difference from the rest. In the first place, I have little or no knowledge of compass or navigation even if I had learnt it in my open water dive. Anyway we are all there to learn; certain people have slower understanding certain things. I admitted that I am slow in learning navigation doesn’t mean I am stubborn in learning or accepting comments.
You felt that I am not concentrating while you are talking. What made you think that I not concentrating or listening to you. I may not be looking at you doesn’t mean that I not listening to you.
You felt that I am only there for leisure dive, if I am only there for leisure, I will not even bother to do all the knowledge reviews. I would not even bother to pay attention to what you are talking.
In the train, I just don’t feel like defending myself from the words of humiliation that you gave me. I really am very sad and depressed hearing all those words. You just don’t understand what I trying to tell you and you don’t bother to listen to me.
Anyway, I have made up my decision to let you go. This decision was made during the 3 days in Tioman. You gave me the feeling that I don’t deserved to have your attention.
Till now I haven’t sent in my application for the advance open water certification to PADI.
I am wondering do I really deserve this certification of AOWD.
Whatever it is, things had happened and words have been said.
I shall now concentrate on my preparation to Australia.
PS: Letting go is difficult for me but I have no choice….
